will things ever be the same?

I miss the way things used to be.

Our tissue fight at the park that time.

I miss you and your cuteness :(

My favorite photo in the world.

You just look so cute, and i look so happy.

Its just a really fun photo.

i miss you.

I really want a professional camera to take professional photos

Ocean view from flat rock, 6:00am, cloudy sunrise 2008

River Mouth, Pambula, 2010

My Shadow in the water, River Mouth, 2010

View from Flat Rock, Pambula Beach, January 2010

I dont know what to title this

I have needed to let this out for goodness knows how long, about a year now.

I dont even know why i was, tried or am still trying to be friends with you because all you do is use me and then dump me. You have alienated everyone if our friendship group and i was the frist to go. I tried so fucking hard to keep things between us but as soon as 'he' came along you completely threw me away. I got to the point where i was getting pissed off at everyone in the group because there all telling me to say sorry to you, to forgive you, they didnt understand my side of the story they never will. I wanted to move school because of you, because of how much pressure you were putting on everyone in our group. End of the year I stood up infront of like a third of year 10 and said sorry to you, even though you werent in the room i still felt better, i bawled my eyes out to the point i could barely speak, i wanted you friendship back so badly all i get in return is an email from you, well like an email means lots. Yeh i didnt say it to your face, you still found out and i still told a third of year 10 how sorry i was and you just send me an email and think things are fine.

YOU DUMPED YOUR BEST FRIEND AND ANY CLOSE FRIENDS YOU HAD FOR A BOY HOW CAN YOU EXPECT THINGS TO BE FINE AFTER SENDING ME AN EMAIL.

and now im sitting here bawling my eyes because someone who should still be my best friend is pretty much gone from my life and it shouldnt be like that, we should still be friends and i really wanna be your friend but i just cant stand the way you act. You needa realise that you cant keep acting the way you are if you expect to still be friends with us.

I have nothing more to say.

I spent 2 hours or more in the spa with these two pretty girls last night just talking bout everything. One of the best dnms id had in a while. I would love to have another discussion again sometime.

Freya Wildash and Alex Ball

I should write more.

This is an amazing person I know. I like her just a little bit.

Her name is Nicole Taylor

Fitting in dont look good on me.

I just remembered why i dont like school.
Its cause i get annoyed at my friends.
They say things and do things that piss me off.
Like constantly bringing up Will.
Yeh we kissed WHO CARES!
It was two weeks ago now lets forget about it.

I also remembered why i dont tell anyone anything and have major trust issues.
because people spread roomers and they make up shit and tease me.
Good job guys you just lots my trust.
I aint telling you anything.
EVER AGAIN!

GOODBYE

Dear Friends.
Stop bringing will into every conversation. You may not meet him cause youll scare the poor boy.
I dont know when hes comming to stay so stop asking.
SO SHUT UP.

thats all.
kaythanksbye

Not sure how to feel.

It amazing how something can hit you so hard, even when your not that close to them.
Monday night Will told me that his this girl he knew had died and 3 others were in hospital servearly injured.

Yesterday I found out i knew one of those kids that was in hospital. I've only ever talked to him twice but he's the reason I made friends with Will. without him i wouldnt be so close to will. I've now been stalking people and finding out as much as i can because well im not friends with all of them I wanna know that Ben's okay.

.Ben Halfpenny.

Thanks so much for everything. You are real sweet kid and I know how strong you are. Just keep on fighting. Everyones hearts are with you kiddo and if I knew you better i'd be up there in an instant.

You an amazing kid and I wish all the best.

Your gonna get through this. I know it.

.To all the kids involved.

Whether you we in the accident or not I wish you all the best. Everyone just stay strong and keep on going. You all need each other so much now and you just gotta keep pushing through. I know everyones gonna get through.

My heart goes out to everyone.

would you still watch it go down with me

I have no idea what to write about.
acutally yes i do.
imma write about Williana.

He is amazing.
I spoke to him last night and i cried.
He told me his Half brothers, half sister died.
Two of his friends are in hospital
and one of those two is on life support.
My heart literally riped in two.
I felt so sorry for him.
I just wannted to get on a plane and go up there and just sit with him and hug him for hours.
It was horrible.

Then the conversation turned much better.
I told him that he was the first person i ever kissed and he was like are you for real and then I was like umm yesh.
Then he told me how special it made him feel
and that when i become all famous and such for singing he'll be like yeh i was the first person that girl ever kissed and then i laughed. :)

He also told me that he still has a coke can that i gave him on his shelf.
and that when i got famous he'd sell it for $2350829057438957642234982374
I told him that if he ever sold it i would get very angry at him and then his like your right i could never sell it.
It was amazing.
I miss him lots and lots.
and hes comming to melbourne soon and i told him we would do something thats amazing fun.

over and out.

Summer 2010

January two thousand and ten

It was so great I spelt it out in letters. Well most of it was great. Except for the day I left and this thing my friend told me.

Im not sure whether to be angry at her or not. One of my really close friends kissed the guy i like. I still dont know what to think. Do i be angry at him or do i be angry at her or do i just forget about it?

Then legit best thing ever. 1 year ago i met a guy called Will. We talked and hung out and then I came back to melbourne and he stayed in pambula. Then we kept talking and 4 nights ago i caught up with him and then we cuddled and talked and such he walked me home and hugged and yeh. Then the next night he came down and we sat on the beach cuddled and then he walked me home and we kissed. It was amazing. Then i was sick so i didnt see him the next night and then on sunday night it was my last night and he walked me home and we kissed again. It was really good and i now miss him so so much and i just wanna see him again cause mmmm. its hard.

Anyway enough from me.

.Two Thousand and Ten.

So i just got back last night from my month over in Europe.

While I was there I had a lota thinking time.

I know its about 7 days late but this is the stuff i wanna change in two thousand and ten.

.TWO THOUSAND AND TEN.

I wanna be a better person. I wanna stop caring about what people think. I wanna be my own person. I wanna stop being the person who just follows the crowd. I wanna make my own disessions. I wanna laugh, cry, be angry, scream, dance and sing. Most of all I wanna be able to look back over the year and think about all the special times i had with my family and friends.

i want to make two thousand and ten the most amazing year ever.